Getting StickKy With It

I heard an interesting segment on WNYC's Brian Lehrer Show a few days ago about a website called StickK, which seeks to provide its participants motiviation for change.

Dean Karlan, a Yale economics professor and co-founder of StickK, discussed "this innovative way to keep commitments" by, basically, "taking a contract out on yourself."

Mafia jokes aside, I can see how this might be effective, and the site is rife with testimonials to that effect.

But, seeing life in the complicated way that I do... and knowing how poorly any kind of "just do it" attitude works for me, I weighed in the following on the Leher segment's comments page:

Three stories:

(1) When a perpetually overweight friend joined Weight Watchers, his mother sneered that he'd fail. Within months he far exceeded his goal, proving at the very least he could stickK it to his mother. Six moths later, he gained it all back and more.

(2) I have also struggled with my weight and several years ago took up a challenge in my gym, NYHRC, for "the member who could improve fitness the most in 6 months." I won. Within a year, all the weight was back, and more.

(3) In 2005, I started bellydancing to heal three herniated lumbar discs. Three years later, my back was better but my weight was the same. I loved dancing so much, however, and found it helped me enjoy my body no matter what it looked like, that last year 20 pounds melted away with no significant change in diet or exercise.

A year later, the weight is still gone and I eat what I like.

The moral?

I think an incentive can work in the short-term to modify behaviors that are driven largely by habit.

But if the unhealthy behavior (such as overeating, addiction, etc.) is driven by deeper needs and compulsions, an incentive will not only fail in the long term, it may do more harm than good as a person may end up feeling worse for failing after having briefly succeded.

In my case, the "deeper need" was simply to feel happy with my body. Once that need was met, no behavior modification strategies were necessary.

World Exotica at Lafayette Grill

Bellydancer Tessarita and Flamenca La Mariposa brought together a fabulous array of dancers in styles ranging from Latin to Tribal to Egyptian Cabaret, and an impressive variety of fusions in between.

I emceed the evening, and danced a short set in the second half... whirling in through my favorite veil....



... with a little sword-balancing floorwork...



... and a zill-filled finale.

April 2009 Events Archive

Wednesday, April 1st, 8pm
Being Silly at Bellyqueen's
April Fool's Day Djam at Je'Bon
15 St. Mark's Place, NYC
212-388-1313
$10 cover/$5 minimum

Saturday, April 4th, 2pm
Dancing with PURE
for United for Peace and Justice
Dancing at Bowling Green, NYC (end of parade route; see the parade route for details.)

Saturday, April 11th, 8pmSaturday
Dancing in the Theatrical Bellydance
Post-Workshop Evening Showcase & Party
Solstice Studios
66 West 39th Street (@ 6th Ave) 3rd Fl, NYC
$15 (admission includes light refreshments)

Wednesday, April 15th, 8:30pm
Performing Comedy at Bellyqueen's Djam Under JeBon
Je'Bon Noodle House
15 St. Mark's Place, NYC
(212) 388-1313
$10 Cover/$5 Minimum

Thursday, April 16th, 9:30pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at the Broadway Comedy Club.
318 West 53rd Street (btw 8th & 9th Aves), NYC
212-757-2323
$10 cover/2-drink minimum

Saturday, April 18th, 8pm
Dancing and Emceeing in a Benefit for Stacy Pershall's film Better the Devil You Know
at Morocco's Studio
6 West 20th Street (between 5th & 6th Avenue)
2nd Floor (take the stairs)
New York, NY 10011
212/727-8326
$15 Tickets

Sunday, April 19th, 7pm
Teaching for Mariyah
at Shambhala Yoga & Dance Center
348 Saint Marks Ave
Brooklyn, NY
$16 Drop-In
(718) 622-9956

Sunday, April 26th, 8pm
Dancing with Efendi at The Grisly Pear
107 Macdougal St, NYC (between W 3rd and Bleecker - right next to Panchito's)
(212) 529-3808
No Cover
$20 Food/Drink minimum

March 2009 Events Archive

Wednesday, March 4th, 8:30pm
Dancing in Bellyqueen's Djam Under JeBon
Je'Bon Noodle House
15 St. Mark's Place, NYC
(212) 388-1313
$10 Cover/$5 Minimum

Thursday, March 12th, 8pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at Sheba Mason's Comedy Show
Joe Franklin's Comedy Club @ Charley O's
713 Eighth Avenue & 45th Street, NYC
Tickets: 212-352-3101
866-811-4111(toll free)
Info: 646-351-2904
$10 Cover/$10 Minimum

Saturday, March 14th, 9:30pm
Dancing at "Mezzo Mezzo 31-29 Ditmars Blvd (corner 33rd St)
Astoria NY
Astoria, NY 11105
732-278-0444
$20 table minimum

Saturday, March 14th, 10pm-2am
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at The Creamsicles' Rock and Roll Variety Show
Ace of Clubs
9 Great Jones (btw Bwy & Laf), NYC
212-677-6963
Want to join the band and sing your favorite Rock & Roll Classic? Email the band at thecreamsicles@creamsicle-music.com and step up!
$5 (I think...)
Note: I'll probably get there around midnight after the Mezzo-Mezzo gig.

Wednesday, March 18th, 8:30pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at the Broadway Comedy Club.
318 West 53rd Street (btw 8th & 9th Aves), NYC
212-757-2323
$10 cover/2-drink minimum
Note: I often do this show on alternate Wednesdays; check back as dates will be added later.

Saturday, March 21st, 7:30pm
Dancing for Bellyqueen's Alexandra King Showcase
Je'Bon Noodle House
15 St. Mark's Place, NYC
(212) 388-1313
$15 Cover/$5 Minimum

Saturday, March 21st, 10:30pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at Sheba Mason's Comedy Show
Joe Franklin's Comedy Club @ Charley O's
713 Eighth Avenue & 45th Street, NYC
Tickets: 212-352-3101
866-811-4111(toll free)
Info: 646-351-2904
$10 Cover/$10 Minimum

Friday, March 27th, 7:30pm
Dancing in Semiramis, Queen of Babylon
303 West 66th Street, Auditorium, NYC
$10 Tickets
(This is a bellydance play about the legendary Queen Semiramis, presented by the Caring Caravan, which sponsors bellydance performances for seniors.)

Dancing with the Legendary Alexandra King

Yesterday I took a phenomenal workshop with the stunning Alexandra King, who specializes in American Cabaret and has taught some of the best dancers performing throughout the world today.

We focused on the AmCab vocabulary, and how to improvise through a standard American Cabaret set: opening number, veil, taksim, drum solo, karsilama.

And that night, as a single 10-minute dance, Alexandra performed an entire mini-set from in the showcase dedicated to her.

Also performing were the lovely Cara West, Paola Blanton (who specializes in Isadora Duncan technique, and is teaching a 4-week course in this through Bellyqueen), and Irina Akulenko, who expertly organized the evening.

I did a choreographed drum solo which I've put together last year:



Enjoy!

When Tandavas Meet!

Last week at Je'Bon, I joined an eclectic group of dancers assembled by the incomparable Anasma, including The Piel Canela Dancers, who dazzled the audience with hot-hot Latin dances, and the ultra-hot-hot hip-hop artist Megatron who similarly mesmerized the crowd.

Here is footage of my candle-balancing performance:



Our featured dancer, however, was an enchanting Spanish bellydancer named Zoe Anwar.

She asked me how I came by the name "Tandava," and I explained that Middle Eastern dance had become my path to healing from traumatic injury to my abdomen and lower back, and had doubly enhanced my life by engendering a creative rebirth.

When I was reading up on Hindu deities, I learned about the God Shiva's dance of creation, maintenance, destruction, and re-creation as the cycle of rebirth begins again: the Tandava (pronounced tAN-Dah-vah, accent on the first syllable, soft "t", hard "D" -- I pronounce it "tan-DAH-vah").

Immediately the name resonated with me in meaning and sound (it is, after all, a way cool name). I rolled it through my mind for several weeks and finally settled on it.

Last year, I came upon the myspace page of another bellydancer named Tandava...a woman in Madrid, it seemed. Grrrr!

But it wasn't -- the Spanish Tandava was none other than Zoe Anwar's dance company!

She asked me if I had learned to do the Tandava as a meditative dance; I said I had not, but would love to learn, and she has promised to connect me with a teacher in the New York area.

For a look at some other Tandavas, check out my "What's a Tandava" side module.....

January/February 2009 Events Archive

Thursday, January 15th, 8pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at Sheba Mason's Comedy Show
Joe Franklin's Comedy Club @ Charley O's
713 Eighth Avenue & 45th Street, NYC
Tickets: 212-352-3101
866-811-4111(toll free)
Info: 646-351-2904
$10 Cover/$10 Minimum

Thursday, February 5th, 10pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at Sheba Mason's Comedy Show
Joe Franklin's Comedy Club @ Charley O's
713 Eighth Avenue & 45th Street, NYC
Tickets: 212-352-3101
866-811-4111(toll free)
Info: 646-351-2904
$10 Cover/$10 Minimum

Wednesday, February 11th, 7:30pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at the Broadway Comedy Club.
318 West 53rd Street (btw 8th & 9th Aves), NYC
212-757-2323
$10 cover/2-drink minimum

Sunday, February 15th, 2:30-4pm
Teaching Beginning Bellydance at Greenhouse Holistic
88 Roebling St (near the Bedford Ave stop on the L)
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY
718-599-3113
$15 drop-in

Tuesday, February 17th, 8pm-12am
(my set will be around 9pm)
Dancing at the Cupping Room Cafe
359 West Broadway at Broome, NYC
New York, NY, 10013
212-925-2898
no cover/no minimum

Saturday, February 21st, 10pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at Sheba Mason's Comedy Show
Joe Franklin's Comedy Club @ Charley O's
713 Eighth Avenue & 45th Street, NYC
Tickets: 212-352-3101
866-811-4111(toll free)
Info: 646-351-2904
$10 Cover/$10 Minimum

Wednesday, February 25th, 8:30pm
Performing Stand-Up Comedy at the Broadway Comedy Club.
318 West 53rd Street (btw 8th & 9th Aves), NYC
212-757-2323
$10 cover/2-drink minimum