Friday, December 30, 2011

Tandava's Guide to the Zone--2011-12 Version--Part III: New Year's Day 7pm to 5:30am

Moving right along, here is the third installment of Twilight Zone episodes to be aired on to be aired on SyFy from 7pm New Year's Day through 5:30am January 2nd.

This list continues from Part I (New Year's Eve, 9:30 AM through midnight) and Part II (midnight New Year's Day through 7pm).

First is the short list including the ever-changing Time Top 10, my personal favorites, and other noteworthy episodes. (By the way, you can go to Time's list and vote for your own!)

So, the categories are:

(1) Episodes on the Time Top 10 List – These are the acknowledged classics – in red.

(2) My Personal Favorite Episodes – These are underrated gems with strong scripts and beautiful performances – in green.

(3) Episodes Worth Watching – These have flawed scripts or execution, but often have strong performances and/or ideas – in blue.

Unfortunately, some of my favorites which were in last year's marathon are missing from this one, such as "A Quality of Mercy," "Mirror Image," "The Changing of the Guard" and "Nothing in the Dark." These were replaced with less-stellar offerings such as "The Jeopardy Room, "Caesar and Me", "Uncle Simon" (ugh!) and "The Brain Center at Whipple's." But at least SyFy did include faves like "The Silence" and "The Sixteen-millimeter Shrine" which were not in the 2010-11 marathon.

And, as with last year, Part III still has many gems worth setting time aside for. The run from 7:00 PM through midnight is particularly chock-full of classics.

Enjoy – and happy 2012!!

My Favorites  Short List
(Click the time to jump to the episode description.)

7:00 PM – The Odyssey Of Flight 33
7:30 PM – Living Doll
8:00 PM – The Obsolete Man
8:30 PM – Eye Of The Beholder
9:00 PM – Time Enough At Last
10:00 PM – The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street
10:30 PM – To Serve Man
11:30 PM – Nightmare At 20,000 Feet
1:30 AM – Mr. Denton On Doomsday
4:30 AM – Long Live Walter Jameson

Full List  With Descriptions

7:00 PM – The Odyssey Of Flight 33 – A 707 picks up a freak tail wind and travels back in time. Run-of-the-mill by modern sci-fi standards, but notable for its apparently realistic cockpit dialogue created by Serling's aviation writer brother, Robert Serling.

7:30 PM – Living Doll – "My name is Talky Tina – and you'd better be nice to me!" Telly Savalas takes on June Foray's creepy voiced doll. This one gave me nightmares. #1 on the Time list.

8:00 PM – The Obsolete Man – The superb Burgess Meredith is back to his book-loving ways, this time as a librarian in a dystopic totalitarian future, where both he and his books are declared obsolete.

8:30 PM – Eye Of The Beholder – A classic (#9 on the Time list) about the relativity of beauty, the lengths we will go to be beautiful – or to at least conform – and the dangers of conformity. Note: the girl at the end (Donna Douglas, of Beverly Hillbillies) is a different actress than the one under the bandages (Maxine Stuart), but she speaks in her own voice – doing a very good impression of Stuart!

9:00 PM – Time Enough At LastBurgess Meredith at his lovable best as a devoted bookworm constantly thwarted by his boss, wife, and everyone else – until a touch of armageddon gives him new lease on life. #10 on the Time list.

9:30 PM – A Stop At Willoughby – Beleagured exec finds himself in his childhood hometown. Similar to "Walking Distance" but trades insight for sentiment. Some people really like this one; I can do without it.

10:0 PM – The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street – #4 on the Time list. The text of one is included in grade-school anthologies. Beautifully written masterpiece about fearing thy neighbor. The brilliant Claude Akins is considered the lead, though it is a true ensemble piece. Don’t miss it.

10:30 PM – To Serve Man – Aliens come to earth offering solutions to all the world's woes; their trouble-entendre mission: "To serve man." An undisputed classic, #8 on the Time list.

11:00 PM – Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up – This was voted 8.5 on the IMDB, but I think it’s dopey and ridiculous. Bus passengers are stranded at a diner – but there is one too many. Oh, and rumor has it that a spacecraft crashed nearby. Give me a break.

11:30 PM – Nightmare At 20,000 Feet – "There's a man out on the wing!!" Shatner at his whiteknuckle best. #6 on the Time list.

12:00 AM – The Shelter – "Maple Street" meets the lazy grasshopper. The industrious ant of this tale has built a bomb shelter for his (and ONLY his) family, and his neighbors scoff – until there is an emergency... Bloated prose and one-dimensional characters make this a must-miss.

12:30 AM – Mr. Bevis – Loser gets all he desires (money, nice apartment), only to learn he can’t be his true whackadoo self and keep up appearances. Moral: Enjoy who you are.

1:30 AM – Mr. Denton On Doomsday – Touching old west tale about top-gunslinger-turned-town-drunk finding redemption. Fine performances by Dan Duryea, Martin Landau and Doug McClure.

1:30 AM – The Fever – Well-acted but ultimately hokey morality play about gambling addiction.

2:00 AM – Nightmare As A Child – Freaky, annoying brat spooks schoolteacher. Or does the marm have more to fear? Find out, if you can stay awake through this snoozer. Features TZ's favorite female child actress Suzanne Cupito (aka Dallas' Morgan Brittany); also featured in "Caesar and Me" 1:30 PM 12/31).

2:30 AM – What's In The Box – Lame and ridiculous episode about a couple’s bickering leading to accidental murder and capital punishment. Freaky TV predicts it all. There, now you don’t have to watch it and aren’t you glad?

3:00 AM – The Prime Mover – Compulsive gambler cajoles his telekinetically-enabled pal (an enjoyable Buddy Ebsen) into to helping him cheat Vegas. Doesn't work out too well, but could be worse. Moral: Be happy with what you have; know when to quit.

3:30 AM – Mr. Garrity And The Graves – A more humorous take on the “value of mortality” theme explored in "Long Live Walter Jameson," "Escape Clause," and others; add to this "be careful what you wish for” of "A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain," "A Nice Place to Visit," etc.

4:00 AM – Perchance To Dream – Neat psychodrama with some freaky felinesque dream sequences. Not bad; not great.

4:30 AM – Long Live Walter Jameson – TZ's most successful working of the "morality of mortality" theme features fine performances, a strong script and a touch of righteous revenge.

5:00 AM – What You Need – Magical peddler who can give people exactly "what they need" moments before they need it is menaced by a small-time thug. Comeuppance awaits the thug, and the peddler reveals a refreshing hint of cold-bloodedness, uncharacteristic of the Zone. Mixed feelings about this one mostly due to the script's weak dialogue. Based on a superior short story by Lewis Padgett.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Tandava's Guide to the Zone--2011-12 Version--Part II: New Year's Day Midnight to 7pm

Continuing the list from yesterday's entry, below is a complete list of Twilight Zone episodes to be aired on SyFy from midnight New Year's Day through 7pm.

A third entry will follow covering 7pm through 5:30am Sunday morning.

First is the short list including the Time Top 10, my personal favorites, and other noteworthy episodes.

So, the categories are:

(1) Episodes on the Time Top 10 List – These are the acknowledged classics – in red.

(2) My Personal Favorite Episodes – These are underrated gems with strong scripts and beautiful performances – in green.

(3) Episodes Worth Watching – These have flawed scripts or execution, but often have strong performances and/or ideas – in blue.

My Favorites  Short List
(Click the time to jump to the episode description.)

12:00 AM  The Midnight Sun
12:30 AM  People Are Alike All Over
1:00 AM  Walking Distance
2:00 AM  Two
3:00 AM  A World Of His Own
4:00 AM  The Lonely
5:00 AM  A Thing About Machines
6:00 AM  The Sixteen-millimeter Shrine
7:00 AM  Judgment Night
11:00 AM  King Nine Will Not Return
12:00 PM  The Grave
12:30 PM  Death's-Head Revisited
1:00 PM  One For The Angels
2:00 PM  It's A Good Life
3:00 PM  The Hitch-hiker
3:30 PM  The Dummy
4:30 PM  The Invaders
5:30PM  The Midnight Sun
6:00 PM  The Masks

Full List  With Descriptions

12:00 AM – The Midnight Sun – Earth has been knocked off its orbit and is gradually approaching the sun. Thermometers pop, a painting melts off its canvas (this is actually a painted wax tablet on a hot plate!), but this apocalyptic tale is most interesting for its relationships – an excellent script, beautifully acted.

12:30 AM – People Are Alike All Over – Astronaut Roddy McDowall crashes on populous Mars, and consoles his fears with the thought that Martians (who include the radiant Susan Oliver) and humans must be "alike" ...

1:00 AM – Walking Distance – I LOVE this episode, a classic (#2 on the Time list) about a frustrated exec who, longing for his boyhood days, visits his hometown – only to find himself a grown-up amidst his own childhood. Insightful lesson about valuing the present and not romanticizing the past.

1:30 AM  I Shot An Arrow Into The Air – Three astronauts survive a crash on an asteroid (where the atmosphere and gravity are the same as on Earth, but no one notices this). Limited provisions stir bloodthirsty behavior. Yes, Rod, people in crisis are just no darned good.

2:00 AM  Two – Apocalypse survivors Charles Bronson and Elizabeth Montgomery approach each other warily in this sparsely written, beautifully acted episode.

2:30 AM – Uncle Simon – Two despicable people in a screeching, unredeemable story. Sadistic eponymous Uncle berates greedy, gold-digging niece caretaker into an "accidental" (and fatal) lapse in care. Twist ending? Yeah, but who cares. By the time it's over you'll want to twist off your head. Geeks may get a kick out of the brief cameo of Forbidden Planet's Robby the Robot; the ambulatory prop also appears on "The Brain Center at Whipple's" (6:30 AM 1/1) and in miniature in "One for the Angels" (1:00 PM 1/1).

3:00 AM  A World Of His Own – Sweet story about the reality of reality features the only time Serling interacts with his characters.

3:30 AM – Hocus-Pocus and Frisby – A braggart gas station attendant's tales of prowess are believed by some seriously gullible aliens who want to take him home as a specimen of Earth's finest.

4:00 AM  The Lonely – Convict Jack Warden spends lonely days on an asteroid until his supply ship pal brings him a realistic robot – in the ethereally beautiful form of a young Jean Marsh (best known as Rose from Upstairs, Downstairs). A touching, romantic story. Features Ted Knight as an obnoxious crew member.

4:30 AM – A Short Drink From A Certain Fountain – Here we go again with the be-careful-what-you-wish-for theme. Rich geezer wants to keep up with his greedy vain young wife; comeuppance awaits them both.

5:00 AM  A Thing About Machines – One of my all-time faves about a guy who beats up on his machines – which, in 1960, included his typewriter, electric razor, TV and car – and they gang up to have their revenge. The dawn of Skynet... ("Now, why don’t you get out of here, Finchley!!")

5:30 AM – The Arrival – Mystery plane lands itself at airport. Could it all just be an illusion? Ummm... maybe...

6:00 AM  The Sixteen-millimeter Shrine – Luminous Ida Lupino as a reclusive aging movie star, immersed in the films of her youth. Sunset Boulevard, served up Zone-style with a bittersweet dose of wish-fulfillment. Score is by Sunset Boulevard's composer/conductor Franz Waxman. Catch Lupino's deft direction in "The Masks" at 6:00PM.

6:30 AM – The Brain Center At Whipple's – CEO Whipple automates manufacturing with low-maintenance machines. Does he understand "the value of a man"? Go tell it to Skynet. Features the second of three cameos of Forbidden Planet's Robby the Robot in the TZ; others include "Uncle Simon" (2:30 AM 1/1) and "One for the Angels" (1:00 PM 1/1).

7:00 AM  Judgment Night – Nehemiah Persoff just knows a nearby U-boat will blast his passenger steamer. But no one one board will believe him! (And exactly how does he know anyway...?) Excellent performances, great ending and a sweet cameo by The Avengers' Patrick MacNee

7:30 AM – The Last Rights Of Jeff Myrtlebank – Small-town good ol' boy James Best wakes up at his own funeral, and seems much improved by the experience! Cute, folksy tale.

8:00 AM – The Four Of Us Are Dying – Guy who can change his face learns he can’t change his scumbag nature.

8:30 AM – The Jeopardy Room – Defecting ex-KGB Martin Landau has three hours to find the bomb in his hotel room planted by his former Commissar, sniper-rifle-wielding John van Dreelen: If he tries to leave, he gets shot; if he doesn't find the bomb, it goes off (or is he supposed to get shot then, too?). Poor writing, overwrought direction and too many plot holes make this episode unsalvageable even by Landau's typically fine acting.

9:00 AM  Black Leather Jackets – Evil leather-clad alien (dressed this way to "blend") falls for local Earth girl in this poor man's Avatar.

9:30 AM – A Piano In The House – Enchanted ivories reveal uncomfortable secrets; akin to "What's in the Box" (2:30 AM 1/1) and "A Most Unusual Camera" (6:30 PM 12/31), and slightly better than either.

10:00 AM – A Nice Place To Visit – Another be-careful-what-you-wish-for morality tale about the true nature of Heaven and Hell. In 1960 it might not have been painfully predictable...

10:30 AM – Twenty-Two – Recovering dancer is troubled by prescient dreams. "Room for one more, honey!" Shrill performances, flat writing. Mediocre tale best suited to Internet urban myth.

11:00 AM  King Nine Will Not Return – WWII B-25 Captain Robert Cummings finds himself stranded in the desert with only the carcass of his King Nine, lost 17 years before. Is it a hallucination? Time travel? Both? The de rigueur twist ending is now a TZ cliché, but still worth watching for a strong script and Cummings' excellent performance.

11:30 AM  The 7th Is Made Up Of Phantoms – Spooked National Guard tank crew gets drafted into Custer's 7th Cavalry. Big whoop.

12:00 PM  The Grave – Spooky old west tale of a dare gone bad, featuring James Best, Lee Van Cleef and Lee Marvin. Also recycled on the internet.

12:30 PM  Death's-Head Revisited – Former Nazi captain's trot down memory lane via Dachau brings him to some unexpected denizens. Top-notch performances by Joseph Schildkraut and Oscar Beregi Jr.

1:00 PM – One For The Angels – One of TZ's more successful dark comedies features Ed Wynn as a fast-talking salesman who must use his skills to save a child's life. Features the third of three cameos of Forbidden Planet's Robby the Robot (miniature, in this case) in the TZ; others include "Uncle Simon" (2:30 AM 1/1) and "The Brain Center at Whipple's" (6:30 AM 1/1).

1:30 PM – The Old Man In The Cave – Confused story set in a post-apocalyptic future of 1974 (!!!). Town listens to the “old man” until soldiers tell them not to be superstitious – and it doesn’t work out well for anyone. What’s the message? Don’t trust your own perceptions? Ugh. Only worth watching for a young James Coburn.

2:00 PM  It's A Good Life – One of the most famous episodes (#3 on the Time list) featuring little Billy Mumy as a terrifying child who can create and destroy at will. The brilliant Cloris Leachman is his petrified mother. ("That’s a good thing you did… A real good thing… Now please wish it into the cornfield!").

2:30 PM  Dead Man's Shoes – Bum dons dead gangster's wing-tips and finds himself stepping into the thug's revenge-thirsty ex-life. You might feel bad for the bum if you find yourself caring about anything in this one.

3:00 PM  The Hitch-hiker – A driver keeps seeing the same hitch-hiker thumbing a ride as she heads west…. A deliciously Hitchcockian morality/mortality play about fear and acceptance of the inevitable. #5 on the Time list.

3:30 PM  The Dummy – Cliff Robertson as a troubled ventriloquist whose creepy dummy will simply not stay in the box.

4:00 PM – Third From The Sun – Trigger-happy world leaders have their finger on the button! Doomsday is near! Time for a select few to secretly gather their families to escape to a nearby planet. Hm... now what planet would that be..?

4:30 PM  The Invaders – Agnes Moorehead's virtuoso 25-minute wordless monologue; riveting with a slick twist at the end. #7 on the Time list.

5:00 PM  The Bewitchin' Pool – Worst. Episode. Ever. Even To Kill a Mockingbird's Oscar-nominated Mary Badham couldn't save this dismal excuse for a story. Spoiled brats escape manipulative divorcing parents by finding their way to SuperGrandma via an enchanted pool. Now, if Grandma dumped the tots in an oven, then we might have a story....

5:30 PM  The Midnight Sun – [Not sure if this is a schedule error; the episode is also listed at 12:00 AM.]

6:00 PM  The Masks – One of the GREAT underrated episodes, and the only TZ episode to be directed by a woman, Ida Lupino (she also stars in “The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine” 6:00 AM 1/1 ). A crusty millionaire geezer tells his greedy family he will die before Mardi Gras is over – but they must wear freaky custom masks through the evening if they want to claim their inheritance. Gives the term "know thyself" new meaning....

6:30 PM – The Howling Man – A visitor to a monastery is disturbed to find the monks have a screaming guy locked up. Well, they must have a good reason… A lot of people like this one. I think it’s pretty meh. Features John Carradine as a monk.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Tandava's Guide to the Zone--2011-12 Version--Part I: New Year's Eve

Welcome back to The Zone!

Once again this New Year's Eve corks will fly and balls will drop, and we will all get a chance to spend some time in The Zone (at least those of us with basic cable...).

This year, SyFy (formerly the Science Fiction Channel, or SciFi) will air 81 episodes for its New Year's Twilight Zone marathon (down from 88 last year), starting 9am on 12/31 and ending at 5:30am on 1/2. So that's a lot of Serling for your dollar... but how do you tell the quality from the clunkers?

Unfortunately, SyFy is again not airing any of the beautiful hour-long episodes from Season 4, but there are still classics aplenty among the half-hour episodes. Just like last year, all ten of Time Magazine's Top Twilight Zone Episodes will be featured (they are in red, and alas there are none on New Year's Eve...), along with some lesser known beauties like "The Masks" (6:00 AM 1/1) and "In Praise of Pip" (9:30 AM 12/31), (in green), and finally a few that are not perfect, but have notable performances (in blue).

So what follows here is a short list of my favorite episodes which will be aired on Friday, December 31st, linked to a full list of all episodes, with brief descriptions and hopefully not too many spoilers. Celebrity names and other items of interest are bolded and linked.

In a few days, I'll post a rundown of episodes to be aired from 1/1 through the morning of 1/2.

Happy Zoning!

My Favorites  Short List
(Click the time to jump to the episode description.)

9:30 AM  In Praise Of Pip
10:30 AM  And When The Sky Was Opened
11:00 AM  The Silence
2:30 PM  Mr. Dingle, The Strong
4:00 PM  A Hundred Yards Over The Rim
4:30 PM  The After Hours
5:30 PM  A Game Of Pool
6:00 PM  Long Distance Call
7:30 PM  Number Twelve Looks Just Like You
8:00 PM  A Penny For Your Thoughts
9:00 PM  Night Call
9:30 PM  Five Characters In Search Of An Exit
10:00 PM  Nick Of Time
10:30 PM  Night Of The Meek
11:00 PM  Kick The Can
11:30 PM  Where Is Everybody?

Full List  With Descriptions

9:00 AM  Escape Clause – I only like this one because I like David Wayne, but it’s not a great episode, just a grim morality play about the value of mortality. *Yawn!*

9:30 AM  In Praise Of Pip – I LOVE this episode. I REALLY love this episode (and did I mention I love this episode?). Jack Klugman delivers a top-notch, tragic performance as a dying no-good trying to do right by his serviceman son, Pip (a much less fearsome Billy Mumy). Sweet, sad magical ending.

10:00 AM – Ring-a-Ding Girl – Medium episode about movie star returning to her home town and throwing a “celebrate me” party. Or is she? Even though it’s not great, I always find myself watching this one all the way through.

10:30 AM  And When The Sky Was Opened – Well played, creepy episode about astronauts returning to earth… or did they? Or were they ever here? Or were you?? TZ makes us question our grasp of reality.

11:00 AM  The Silence – Tense, beautifully acted study in interpersonal dynamics and irony. Based loosely on Chekhov's The Bet, there is no supernatural hocus-pocus in this one. And there is no need for any.

11:30 AM – The Hunt – This mediocre folksy tale by The Waltons creator Earl Hamner Jr. has been recycled as internet glurge. Guy and dog have died and are walking along the road to heaven. Guy at pearly gate says, “No dogs allowed.” Guy says, “I ain’t going nowhere without my hound…” Sheesh.

12:00 PM – I Am the Night–Color Me Black  Murderous bigotry, hatred and fear are bad things. OK. We get it.

12:30 PM  The Rip Van Winkle Caper – It's Treasure of the Sierra Madre with suspended animation and blah writing. Good performances and a fun twist at the end make it sort of worth watching.

1:00 PM – Queen Of The Nile – Dopey episode about life-sucking millennia-old Egyptian queen. Blah blah blah. Skip it. "Long Live Walter Jameson" (4:30 AM 1/1) handles the material much more skillfully.

1:30 PM – Caesar and Me – Satan-spawn dummy drives hapless ventriloquist Jackie Cooper to a life of crime – matched in evilness only by tormenting then-child actress Morgan Brittany (later of Dallas fame). The same material is handled much better in "The Dummy" (3:30 PM 1/1).

2:00 PM – Probe 7 Over and Out – Stranded astronaut Richard Basehart, meets hostile alien female on deserted planet. She hurls rocks at him. Or maybe it's just foreplay. Now, what shall we call this place...? The same story is better told in "Two" (2:00 AM 1/1).

2:30 PM  Mr. Dingle, The Strong – Loud-mouthed salesman pisses away alien gifts on trivial feats. Worth watching for an adorable Burgess Meredith and amusing (and very young) Don Rickles.

3:00 PM – A Kind Of Stopwatch – Blabbering bore gets comeuppance via magical timepiece. Even The Girl, the Gold Watch and Everything was better than this turkey.

3:30 PM – The Little People – Ego and physical relativity clash in this memorable (though mediocre) episode, which has been lampooned  in The Simpsons, South Park, and Futurama. Good performance by Claude Akins.

4:00 PM  A Hundred Yards Over The Rim – Underrated episode featuring a very young Cliff Robertson as a pioneer dad who will go yards, miles and years to heal his ailing son.

4:30 PM  The After Hours – Stunning Anne Francis finds herself wandering the non-existent floors of a creepy department store. (Wait... is that mannequin watching me??)

5:00 PM – Little Girl Lost – Little girl has slipped into another dimension. Can her parents and their conveniently present physicist pal rescue her before the portal closes forever? Decent script but bland acting. Tune in for the final 10 minutes for all you need to know.

5:30 PM  A Game Of Pool – Taut two-person drama about winning and losing, and what's really important in the game of life. Fine performances by Jack Klugman and Jonathan Winters. Not crazy about the ending; the real (and better) ending was done in the 80s TZ version.

6:00 PM  Long Distance Call – Creepy dead grandma wants her favorite grandson to be with her forever, and conveys her wishes via a toy phone. (Now if only Billy Mumy – TZ's favorite child actor – could wish her into the cornfield!) Nice performance by Philip Abbott as the kid's dad.

6:30 PM – A Most Unusual Camera – Lame-assed episode about three greedy morons undone by a magic camera. Hokey, ridiculous, predictable ending. Skip it.

7:00 PM  Stopover In A Quiet Town – At least it was quiet until this nattering couple woke up in a strange house with no memory of how they got there, and no one to ask where they are, or why the grass is made of papier-mâché. And if they'd shut up for two seconds, we just might care....

7:30 PM  Number Twelve Looks Just Like You – Dystopic utopia where everyone is beautifully identical and lifts their pretty mugs with a glass of Instant Smile. Mediocre script saved by Collin Wilcox's terrific performance.

8:00 PM  A Penny For Your Thoughts – Not a classic, but one of my favorites, featuring a young Dick York (the first Darren from Bewitched.)

8:30 PM – I Sing The Body Electric – Sweet story about a robot nanny lovingly bonding with tots.

9:00 PM  Night Call – Originally called "Sorry Right Number," this careful-what-you-wish-for tale features calls from beyond and a beautiful performance by Gladys Cooper. It has also been recycled as internet glurge.

9:30 PM  Five Characters In Search Of An Exit – A soldier, a clown, a tramp, a bagpiper and a ballerina wake to find themselves in a doorless empty room. Well-played and engaging.

10:00 PM  Nick Of Time – A charming script and low-key performance by pre-Kirk William Shatner (yes, I used "low-key" and "Shatner" in the same sentence) grace this cautionary tale about superstition and self-determination.

10:30 PM  Night Of The Meek – Down-and-out department store Santa, Art Carney, loses his job but finds a bag of gifts and plays Santa one last time for the neighborhood kiddies. But is it just an act? Beautiful, touching episode.

11:00 PM  Kick The Can – Timeless story about rest home residents learning that you are indeed as young as you feel. "Look! Think! Feel! Doesn't that wake some sleeping part of you?!"

11:30 PM  Where Is Everybody? – Guy finds himself alone in an empty town, with hints of residents recently present (lit cigarette in ashtray, etc.). Eerie and amusing, most worth watching because this is the pilot that sold the series to CBS.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Post-Christmas Thoughts

A numbly sweet end to a challenging and transformative year.

I met up with my parents and other family at a Chinese restaurant in Flushing for dinner ... very different from the all-day home-hosted affairs of the past, but it felt right. We chatted comfortably while swinging the lazy Susan around, chowing down on vibrant, chewy meats, rice and veggies.

We were the only non-Chinese in the place and I had to wonder if anyone in the restaurant thought we were Jewish.

Afterwards, my cousin and his wife went for drinks with me and my parents at a little Irish bar a few blocks south of Roosevelt and caught up on family stuff.

I was tired and too mellow for any socializing beyond this, so it was good for me in many ways.

A nice way to end the year.

Thank you, 2011 ... You beat me up, burned me out and changed my life ... all to the good, I think. :-)

Friday, December 9, 2011

Catching Up... Footage of the Halloween Parade!!

I just got an email from Mama Donna with the below video!

For the past four years, Mama Donna, an internationally acclaimed spiritual teacher and "Urban Shaman," has been specially requested to lead the Halloween Parade, blessing the Parade, spectators, the route itself, and the grand and beautiful city it calls home.

I have joined her as both a member of her Blessing Band and as a member of PURE, who for three years has livened the celebration with dance and music.

So, here is a camera copy (apologies for the background noise) of the start of the parade, where you can see Mama Donna and her Band, along with PURE following. There is some nice footage of Kaeshi and me at 1:47, and me doing a bunch of hip drops and a zaghareet at 1:50.



Funny thing -- I had to go to work later that evening, and went to my building in costume.

As I was signing in, the guard said, "Did you just come from the Parade? I think I saw you on TV!"

But I had to give him ID anyway.... :-D

Friday, November 11, 2011

Time Flies: Be Here Now! (HuffPo Comment)

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." -- Douglas Adams

Even as a 9-year-old kid, I felt time was subjective­, and would often think, "What I'm experienci­ng now will be the distant past in what will feel like the blink of an eye" (gives you an idea of what kind of kid I was... :-P ).

Yet, waiting for a delayed train is a nearly unbearable agony to me; I'm drawn up from my book and need to stare down the dark tunnel until the moment a hint of light hits the track. (Then, of course, I can relax and enjoy the book.)

Last year, I read an NPR article called "How to Live Forever" which made a facetious case for trying new things to make time "last longer": Once you are expert at a thing, you can do it automatica­lly, which makes time pass more quickly. The discomfort of trying new things slows you down and makes time drag.

I addressed this in my own blog http://t.c­o/SATuByOt finding that depth and richness of each moment, when one is passionate about one's activity, can create the best of both worlds -- time seems to evaporate in the endeavor, and yet it feels like one has lived through a transforma­tive age in its accomplish­ment.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sleepless -- But Not Dreamless -- in Glasco

This weekend I went upstate to a convent in a tiny town called Glasco, about two hours north of NYC, to do some dream work.

I've been going up here for over ten years, about once or twice a year, on Dream Analysis Retreats. We -- usually a group of four to seven women of a wide range of ages and life experience -- relate and discuss our dreams in Jungian terms.

Dream work is an extremely important part of Jungian analysis, and is one of the surest indicators of healing and growth. After all, your dreams don't lie, so if you believe you have processed some recurring problem or complex, yet the dream symbolizing it continues, then you know pretty well that your psyche is screaming at you that you are not as far along as you'd like to believe.

Likewise, you know you are healing if the dream transforms....

For example, for many years I had a recurring dream about being chased by the Evil Man. I'd lock myself in a room, yet the door wouldn't close, or the lock would be broken, or the door would mysteriously shrink and he would burst right through to attack me.

So what does this symbolize?

For much of my life my thinking (masculine) and feeling (feminine) selves have been at war, and usually the masculine has won out -- as I have talked and rationalized myself into allowing far too many situations that have ultimately harmed me.

Strange as it may sound, it is the strength of the feminine that is required in such situations -- the wisdom that just knows when a thing is wrong, and that knows and cherishes our value just for being ourselves. It is not rational and requires no justification; it simply loves and nourishes. One need never be good enough for it.

Now, as warm and fuzzy as this sounds, if we live only in this feminine womb-scape we would never grow, develop autonomy, or strive towards our dearest dreams and powerful fulfillment. We would never know what we are. So separation, judgment, criticism is necessary -- but without the feminine to softly protect and care for us, the masculine just runs roughshod over us.

Which is how things have been through much of my achingly self-critical life.

As this dream persisted, my therapist would encourage me to talk to the attacker. A crazy idea I thought, and yet in a dream around 2004 (coincidentally, when I started bellydancing) I successfully locked the door against this animus figure, only to decide to open it and talk to him. Far from the insane marauder I expected, he shriveled into a lanky milquetoast who could barely get a word out.

One of the dreams I related this past weekend involved this figure -- but this time, he was a serial killer locked in the bathroom of my childhood home. In the dream, we call the police (psychical reinforcements) to bring him out, but he won't come out. The cops tell me to call his name -- but I can't remember it, which surprises my mother because "he has been living with us for so long."

So, clearly this problem persists in me -- but it has changed. He is no longer attacking; he has now reverted to pure vulnerable boyish silence. Seems he is more scared of me than I am of him. And perhaps he is not so happy with me for forgetting his name...

So that was the realization I had during the first evening of the Dream Retreat, and went to bed pondering it -- unable to think of anything else, actually.

I started to drift off around midnight, hoping to get up around 7:30 and go running along the beautiful trail up there.

But barely an hour later, a frenzied thumping, knocking, banging slammed me awake. And I had forgotten my earplugs!

And this continued through the night: I'd start to sleep for maybe a half-hour, and then -- WHAM, SLAM, BOOM!!

Around 4am I crawled out to the fire escape to see if I could figure out what was causing this...  I knew the nuns had been having some work done. Was there a tarp on the roof? Some loose cord, cable, rope? (Something I could use to hang myself maybe?!?!)

As the sleepless, dreamless Night of Misery continued, I bargained:  I'd turn off my alarm. If I missed the morning session, then so be it. But if I was still awake when the sky got light, then I'd go out running, no matter how miserable I felt.

The latter won out.

As the sun bleached its way through the venetian blinds, I was a knot of restless anguish -- all the more miserable because I did not have a dream to share. But I dragged myself up anyway and got dressed around 7am.

I'd be OK, I told myself (but I brought my mobile just in case...)

The day was absolutely stunning. A bit frosty, but no longer windy. On auto-pilot, I chugged up the gravel road towards the labyrinth about a mile away. I made a left onto a paved road and hoofed down to the town's main drag, Route 32.

Starting to feel a bit better, I finally came to my second-favorite part of the run: A tight little enclave of McMansions along Joseph's Drive with streets named Canterbury Drive, Lancelot Drive and Camelot Court.

Usually I go straight through on Joseph's, which takes me right back to the convent. But suddenly I was feeling better -- much better -- better than I had in weeks, actually. And those street names were just so darned charming!

So I took a left on Canterbury, figuring it would loop me straight back to Joseph's, but instead I ended up on Lancelot which twisted around, leaving me completely disoriented.

I pulled out my Android, figuring Google Maps would get me out of this. No such luck.

I ran back a few houses, then returned to where Lancelot had left me. I saw a single green street sign to my right. I ran up to it.

And this is what I saw.

Carol Ann's Way

"You do realize, don't you, that this sounds like a very interesting dream?" a good friend observed as I related the story some time later.

Yes, indeed it was....

It had all the elements:  Misery, anguish, running, joy, bliss, being lost (and lost among such mythically resplendent names!) -- and finding my way -- yes MY way, at a time -- and in a "way" -- that I had least expected.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Take a Stand! (HuffPo Comment)

Beautiful post, Mama Donna.

I was moved to hear Naomi Klein on Brian Lehrer this morning. http://www­.wnyc.org/­articles/i­ts-free-co­untry/2011­/oct/06/na­omi-klein-­occupy-wal­l-street/

She said that the image that moved her to leave her home in Canada and hurry to Wall Street was that of a young woman holding a sign that read, simply, "I care about you."

The most important truth of this moment is that we're in this together: Greed got us into this mess; only compassion can get us out.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Dreaming of 9-11 -- BEFORE the Event

Ten years ago I had the following dream:  Terrorists have blown a huge hole in my office/apartment building; an apocalypse has hit Manhattan, which is covered in a layer of dust. Power is down and I must confront the terrorists alone. 

What is weird about this is that I had the dream on September 6, 2001. What is stranger still is that I wrote the dream down on a scrap of paper which I had misplaced until September 10th. And so, that Monday night, I stayed late in my office typing it up.

In his Sense of Being Stared At, Rupert Sheldrake relates several similar experiences -- during the five days before the attacks, Manhattanites had prescient dreams or other premonitions, most involving planes, buildings  and/or terrorists. And in most cases these dreams were not typical of the dreamer.

"Oh, I bet New Yorkers have nightmares about dust and skyscrapers all the time!" scoffed my hyper-rational cousin. And they may -- but I don't. And I know this because I have been writing down my dreams since 1996. 

A quick word search reveals that this was the only dream of its kind that I have had in the past 15 years, which puts it out of the realm of statistical coincidence and squarely into The Twilight Zone.

In his book, Sheldrake describes "a kind of collective unconscious that allows members of a species to draw from, and contribute to, the collective memory of the species." 

But does how could this apply to future events? 

Well... I haven't the foggiest, other than to consider more strongly that there are, indeed, more things in heaven and earth -- and perhaps those things like to reach us through our dreams.

But you tell me... Submitted for your approval is my 9/6/01 dream, complete with action movie heroics at the end. 

Oh, I am such a product of my culture....

I’m in a post-apocalyptic Manhattan – the Earth’s atmosphere is completely covered in choking dust. (There is also something about a probe that was sent into the deeper reaches of the Milky Way which will soon return bringing either information or more destruction.)  
I go into a one-room apartment in a high-rise (possibly mine), though it seems more like an office building. Scott  is sleeping on the bed. He is remarkably blasé about the state of the world. There is a lot of dust in the room as well, so he suggests that I turn on the air conditioner to clear it out. I am dubious at first, thinking that the air conditioner couldn’t possibly work because teh power is down, but it does.  
As the dust clears, I look out the window and see many office buildings with quite a few lights on. How can there be electricity? I thought there was practically no one left… Are the generators still running? I figure that I should just stop questioning and use the electricity while we still have it. 
A very attractive young man enters the apartment.. The three of us go to the lobby of the building where many other survivors are gathered. Panamanian terrorists have blasted a giant hole in the lobby and are announcing that in this “new world” they are claiming America (and hence New York and all the buildings in it) as a territory of Panama. They have not yet seen me, so I slink up a staircase to an inner balcony overlooking the atrium.  
A little ways in I find an unmade bed and a female friend crouched beside it. The terrorists announce that they are going to tear-gas us out. I realize that even though gas is everywhere it’s not affecting me. Puffed up with my apparent superhuman abilities, I go down to the lobby and tell the terrorists to get lost. They turn their weapons on us and, in true superhuman form, I telekinetically rip their weapons away from them, condense them in a ball above their heads, and then smash the ball into the left wall of the room. Then I blow the terrorists backwards, which sends them out of the building screaming.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Gathering Storms and Other Stuff I've Been Up to This Crazy Summer

Last blog entry June 2nd.

If I were a starship captain, I'd be fired for dereliction of duty.

How do frequent bloggers do it? I find it so difficult just to get done what I need to get done... and then to find time to write about it when what I crave is a brain-break of Big Bang Theory and a bottle of beer. Usually I opt for the brain-break.

But, in a nutshell, here is what I've been up to these past 12-or-so weeks:

JUNE:

The first weekend of June, I took Tamalyn Dallal's teacher's training workshop and emcee'd the showcase for it (indeed, the last event I listed on my calendar).

Then, having graduated from the PIT's fifth and final improv level, I signed up for two new PIT electives:  Jen Nails' "Do-It-Yourself" Solo Show Workshop, and Alex Zalben's Level 1 Intro to Sketch Writing. Both of these had very nice showcases in early August which I completely failed to mention on my calendar here, but to which people showed up anyway.

But that is August, and I am still in June.

As it happened, I missed the second of both of these courses because I spent a glorious week in Santa Fe at Dunya's Dancemeditation (aka Summer Movement Monastery) retreat at the blissfully restful Synergia Ranch.

And I saw a couple of awesome snakes:

Snake Crossing!

I took a bunch of pictures with my Android which should be visible to the public here through my Facebook photo album.

I actually started a blog entry when I was there, describing the place, the people, blah blah blah, but I never finished it and it is still sitting unpublished in Draft mode along with a half-dozen pieces I did about the production of PURE Reflections in Japan last year.
 
And I took an awesome six-week Shakespeare Intensive with the Royal Shakespeare Company's indomitable Lisa Harrow.  (That's her standing in front of me ... regal and beautiful as ever.)

Lisa Harrow Shakespeare Intensive

We did sonnets, soliloquies and scenes. A triple-S threat.

I returned to NYC in late June to learn we had lost a warm friend and dear human being, Adam Hocherman:



JULY:

I danced at Kamasutra Lounge with the Rising Sirens, and took and passed the SharQui instructor training workshop.

I joined Altagracia's Caribbean Roses for a gorgeous Flamenco-bellydance number at Lafayette Grill, and debuted two stunning feather boa fans that I inherited from the ravishing Hannah Nour.

Now all I need is to get my group fitness certification... Not so easy! I shelled out nearly $600 for the materials, but have I had time to study... nooooo!! And why? 

Two little words:  PURE Reflections.



(This incidentally, is the excellent promo video Lale's husband Kenji put together from his footage from the Japan show. It was created to compete for a $25,000 in the Pepsi Refresh Everything contest, but there were just not enough bottle caps for us... Maybe next month... but I digress...)

We had been asked to mount a production in Taiwan in September -- but we had not worked on the show at all since the Japan production in late November.

Now, bear in mind, when we do PURE Reflections, we are not simply bringing a show to a new venue; we are recreating the entire thing with a whole new set of dancers. So I was absolutely not going to let us present material to a group of women who had sacrificed a week of their time for this project without having it fresh in our bodies and minds.

Also, when we normally produce the show, it is with a cast of 25 or more, to give as many dancers as possible the opportunity to be a part of the production, as well as the soul-searching workshops and rehearsal process. But this time we decided to scale it down to only seven people, to see if the show even could accommodate a smaller space and tighter budget

But even with the smaller cast, scheduling was a bitch.

Key dancers like Kaeshi, Pacita and B were frequently travelling. We had one rehearsal with the entire cast in mid-July and did not have the full cast again until two days before the show.

But I've directed so many plays in similar circumstances, so I knew it could be done.

Two amazing PURE members, Liz and Catherine, stepped up and understudied for whomever was not at rehearsal.

And that brings us to...

AUGUST:

I taught some dance at Greehouse and finger cymbals for Bellyqueen (interesting that I am the only Bellyqueen teacher who is not and will never be a Bellyqueen member... but I have barely enough time to keep up with the Sirens choreography, so maybe being a professional troupe member is not in the cards for me... Ah well...)

I took an improv intensive with the Groundlings' Gary Austin.

But mostly I focused on PURE Reflections.

And we did it!!

The show came together in so many surprising and beautiful ways. Marius Shanzer took some lovely photographs, an Amy and Kenji took footage -- so you'll see some of that when it's ready.

And then there was the Hurricane. Epic destruction not withstanding, I have to say I was kind of glad to have had the weekend off.

And now...  I need to prepare for September!

Bringing the show to Taiwan is going to be a whole 'nuther ball of crazy wax. And I can't wait!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Mr. Doodle and the Creeps

Numbly trudging home last night with over 50 pounds of groceries hanging off my body in various packs, slings and totes, with aching feet and groaning shoulders, I found myself walking alongside a young man munching his way through a bag of chips.

I was barely aware of him for over half of the long block before my building when he said, "I'd offer you a Dipsy Doodle but you don't look like you're in the mood."

As with most women in the city, my first impulse was to cross the street and get away from this creep.

In the past, I've spat, screamed and hissed at men who have approached me on the street. "Who the FUCK do they think they are?!?" I rage and boil.

But then I realized that there was, in fact, nothing creepy, leery or even weird in this particular man's tone. If anything, it was a little shy -- rough and good natured.

Plus his remark was about my mood, and did not strike me as being slimy or patronizing.

Creeps -- inasmuch as they ever notice a woman's mood -- say things like, "Hey baby, I got something to cheer you up."

But that was not this guy.

I laughed and turned to him; he grinned and shrugged sheepishly, raising the bag towards me.

"You know," I chirped, "I am in the mood!"

I reached in and pulled out his last Doodle.

"Have a good night!" he smiled, turned a corner and went on his merry way.

So -- for all the guys who think it's OK to say whatever they want to women on the street -- I began to think, what made this guy's actions not creepy?

In most cases, those exact same words in that exact same situation could have been very creepy indeed. I think part of what disarmed me was that I had come up behind him while he was walking, and not the other way around.

But mostly it was his tone. It was simply not the tone of a creep.

Creeps view any and all attractive women as potential sperm receptacles and little more. They have no more concern or ability to consider a woman's point of view than they would to consider the point of view of candy bar.

In the creep mind, women are there to be consumed.

If a woman tells a creep she isn't interested, this means nothing to the creep brain. If she says she has a cop/boxer/football player boyfriend, then this will usually (though not always) make a dent in him.

To the creep mind (and this is the most generous definition of the word "mind") only the presence of another male possessor can deter his "right" to whatever woman he wants.

Any action of the woman, up to and possibly including bashing him with a soup can, is seen as a come-on. (Once a Ruskie creep asked me for directions while I was pulling gristle out of my teeth. "What is zis sing you are doing wis your tongue???" he slathered. I wish I had puked on him.)

Anyway.

None of that was present with Mr. Doodle.

Granted, he might not have felt the liberty or desire to say something to another man walking down the street, similarly burdened and sad.

But I don't think it's completely wrong for men to speak to women on the street, or for there to be a hint of flirtation about it, especially if their approach does not assume anything.

And Mr. Doodle didn't.

He was just a nice guy who saw a woman in the dumps and wanted to make her laugh.

And it made me sad to think how close I came to shooting him down -- but doubly glad that I didn't.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Ask A Silly Question....

Brilliant playwright and fellow blogger, Don Cummings, posted a semi-facetious list of questions in his thought-provoking blog, Open Trench.

I planned only to comment on a few, but true to form, once I get rolling on an idea, I just can't stop myself...

So here are my semi-serious answers. Enjoy!

Why do so many people loathe the idea of a strong benevolent Socialist government but gladly work for feudal modeled corporations that enslave them?

Two words: Parent Issues. I think many people equate Big Government with an over-powerful, irrational parent, and see corrupt corporations as The Bully Down the Block. They tell themselves that someone will take down the bully (e.g. the self-regulating free market) without realizing that the bully's bully will be even worse to contend with than a misguided but well-meaning parent.

Unfortunately, the parent (and the government) carries a whopping load of archetypal energy, which undermines the child/citizen from inside as well as outside. And so people fear that more. Even when reminded that government can be voted out of power here, they'll say that the "next guy" will be just as bad because all politicians are the same (corrupt -- like corporations aren't), and blah blah blah.  In the end, they just need to grow the fuck up.

Why do people in the Midwest continue to deny climate change while their cities and lives are being flattened?

Never underestimate the power of denial -- especially when one's "way of life" (i.e. creature comforts) is at stake. They'd rather ascribe home-flattening gale forces to a misplaced butterfly than to their dependence on fossil fuels.

Why is everything loaded with garlic?

Garlic is tasty and good for you and adds zazz to mundane meals, but you're right it can definitely be overdone. I think American taste buds are overstimulated with salt and sugar, so over-garlicking is probably an answer to that.

Why is it totally cool to have millions of dollars and then want millions more while others cheer you on to obtain it?

The cheerers are living vicariously through the money-whores, fantasizing perhaps that one day they will become like the objects of their obsession. (I wonder if that applies to stalkers, too...)

Why can’t I take a high speed train all across the continental United States in fifteen hours?

What? You want efficient, well funded rail in America? What are you, a socialist???

Why do people continue to buy horrible cheap shit that makes them fat and sick?

For the same reason they drink too much Bud, do drugs and watch too much TV. It's cheap, easy and adequately anesthetizing.

Why do people think they should have something for nothing?

Similar to the Government question:  Parent issues. Or more specifically, Mother issues. People who are not yet grown up -- possibly because they did not adequately have their needs met, or whose overbearing parents kept them dependent so that said parents would feel needed/useful to their growing children, and therefore never learned to (1) discern their real needs, and (2) tend to those needs themselves -- expect the world to be one big fat teat for them to suck on.

Why are so many people flaming out publicly?

This dovetails the something-for-nothing dynamic, I think. Unearned success (for 15 minutes anyway) is essentially meaningless. They don't know how they got it, they don't know how to keep it. And, far be it from me to ascribe depth where there is likely none, but perhaps some deeper level of them is viscerally unhappy and unsatisfied with it.

The desire for unearned success reminds me of  Marion Woodman's caution for our age: "They crave food that brings them no nurturance, drink that brihngs them no spirit, sex that brings them no union. Because their culture worships matter and minimizes soul, they concretize metaphor and literalize life."

And so they push boundaries, in the same way a two-year-old kicks against its parent. Unfortunately, the public is no forgiving parent, and eviscerates the foolish famous.  Or they eviscerate themselves because they just can't help it....

Why do we get old, the whole time pretending we are young?

We want the world to continue believing we are young, because there is no respectable, appreciated place for age in our culture. Despicably sad.

Why don’t I own a Havanese?

Because, deep, deep down, what you really want is an even-tempered rescued mixed-breed pooch.

Why do I continue to run the air conditioner when I know this is slowly eating up all the mountain tops in West Virginia?

Because in the end, even those of us with functioning consciences believe at least a little in the Butterfly Effect over the effect of our own environmental footprints.

Why do men from New Jersey wear clunky pinky rings?

A little bling for the ba-da-bing!! New Jersey guys want to be the Situation. And the Situation just wants to be Joe Pesci.

Why is competition absolutely everything?

It isn't, but for many of us in an ego-based culture, it is because it has to be. But again, this has to do with growing up (or failing to grow up).

The two chief ways we come to know who we are and what we are capable are external -- comparison and contrast -- what am I like and what am I not like. What am I connected to, what am I disconnected from. And what am I better than, and what is better than me. As we grow, hopefully, we come to appreciate our unique complexity, which tempers that kind of comparison with more internally-based knowledge of oneself.

Why is it that even though I would like an economy based on compassion, I somehow understand that this is impossible? Is it because I have been brainwashed?

It's not impossible. There is evidence of it all around us (look at the outpouring of help for Japan and the south). We are capable of compassion; we just need to learn that compassion for others is not necessarily in conflict with self-interest.

Why did I always try to impress people when, really, everyone was already so upset about themselves that all great deeds just made them feel even worse?

You don't know that impressing them made them feel worse about themselves. Most likely, you intended to make them want you more; by showing what you were capable of, you are increasing your value to them -- especially if it is done through friendship. You are basically saying, "See this cool thing I can do? Well, even if you can't do it, you can connect to it just by being friends with me."

I know it doesn't make much sense, logically, but people really do work that way... And a lot of people prefer reflected glory, anyway.

Why is there MRSA at all?

Survival of the most mutable applies in particular to bacteria.

Why is the sun still here?

Depends on what you mean by "here"? It really isn't here at all; it's 93 million miles away. Which is a good thing.

Why are we all alive right now and not at the point of true extinction?

Maybe some ruminating dinosaur asked that just before the asteroid hit.... :-)

Truly, though, we are nowhere near extinction. We are just in an extended teenage phase. Asking why we are still here is like asking why your sister's teenaged son hasn't killed himself in a wheels-and-booze related incident. He may. But he probably won't. And neither will we.

Why are people having all these late life babies that might have had better brains if they had had them twenty years ago?

Babies born to older parents may have "less better" brains (though there is plenty of research demonstrating the opposite), but older babymakers are almost always better, wiser parents. So maybe the kids have "worse" brains, but they will get far more mileage out of the brains they have.

Why is rice pudding so tasty and empty?

It isn't empty!! It's filled with rice! And pudding!!

Why do we look better when we are thin?

Tell that to Paul Rubens. Skinniness is ugly to me; healthiness and comfort in one's body is beautiful, no matter the body weight.

Why do I own such horrible headphones, taken from the back pouch of an American Airlines seat?

Cheap, convenient, and clearly you are content enough with them that you don't care to replace them yet.

Why are clams so tasty in the same way in absolute value uniqueness that cashews are?

Not sure. I prefer oysters to clams and Brazil nuts to cashews in both absolute value and uniqueness.

Why do things change so quickly and then we are so quick to make fun of how things just were? Is this part of the fear of time-death thing?

Yes.

Why do I care?

Enquiring minds want to know......