Thank you for joining me and my surprisingly devoted little group of zoney followers in this annual jaunt through the New Year's showing of that land between shadow and substance, of things and ideas: The Twilight Zone.
And the SyFy channel has done us right this year! Not only is it airing 87 episodes of this timeless series (up from 86 episodes in last year's New Year's marathon -- with no nasty infomercials), it is featuring some of the stunning and rarely-seen hour-long episodes from the series' Fourth season: I Dream of Genie (6:00 AM 1/1), an entertaining down-on-luck-guy-finds-genie-in-bottle story with a cute ending (a precursor to the later Hagman/Eden series, perhaps?), Jess-belle (7:00 AM 1/1) a rural tale of unrequired love and witchcraft, penned by the Waltons' creator Earl Hamner Jr., featuring Anne Francis and James Best; and The New Exhibit (5:00 AM 1/2), a deliciously twisted wax museum saga featuring Martin Balsam.
Unfortunately, the price for these treasures comes at the expense of two of my faves: A Quality of Mercy (WWII drama with Dean Stockwell and Leonard Nimoy), and Nothing in the Dark (death comes for Gladys Cooper in the angelic form of dazzlingly-young Robert Redford), and many of the turkeys of earlier years are gone too, though a few remain....
The fun begins at 8:00 AM on New Year's Eve, and continues through 6:00 AM on January 2nd -- with only ONE hour off on January 1st from 5:00 AM to 6:00 AM for "Paid Programming".
As every year, all ten of Time Magazine's Top Twilight Zone Episodes will be featured; they are in red. As usual, the bulk of these are on New Year's Eve, with a few gems during primetime of New Year's Day, along with some lesser known favorites, such as In Praise of Pip (3:00 AM 1/2) starring a magnificent Jack Klugman, and TZ's favorite child actor Billy Mumy (also known for his work in Babylon 5), as well as Ida Lupino's "The Masks" (7:30 PM 1/1) -- the only episode to be directed by a woman --and A Game of Pool (7:00 PM 12/31) (featuring Klugman and the sublime Jonathan Winters, who both passed in recent years), in green, and finally a few that are not perfect, but have notable performances in blue.
So, as usual, here is a short list of my favorite episodes which will be aired on Monday, December 31st, followed by a full list of all the episodes to be broadcast on 12/31, containing brief descriptions and my personal, subjective, and highly opinionated reviews of each -- and hopefully not too many spoilers. Celebrity names and other items of interest are bolded and linked.
Happy Zoning!
My Favorites – Short List
(Click the time to jump to the episode description.)
9:00 AM – The Last Flight
10:30 AM – Long Live Walter Jameson
1:00 PM – A Thing About Machines
1:30 PM – And When The Sky Was Opened
2:30 PM – Nick Of Time
3:00 PM – Night Of The Meek
3:30 PM – Number Twelve Looks Just Like You
4:30 PM – Walking Distance
5:00 PM – A Hundred Yards Over The Rim
5:30 PM – People Are Alike All Over
7:00 PM – A Game Of Pool
7:30 PM – The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street
8:00 PM – The Dummy
8:30 PM – The Invaders
9:00 PM – To Serve Man
9:30 PM – Nightmare At 20,000 Feet
10:30 PM – The Hitch-hiker
Full List – With Descriptions
8:00 AM – The Old Man In The Cave – Confused story set in a post-apocalyptic future of 1974 (!!!). Town listens to the “old man” until soldiers tell them not to be superstitious – and it doesn’t work out well for anyone. What’s the message? Don’t trust your own perceptions? Ugh. Only worth watching for a young James Coburn.
8:30 AM – Caesar and Me – Satan-spawn dummy drives hapless ventriloquist Jackie Cooper to a life of crime – matched in evilness only by tormenting then-child actress Morgan Brittany (later of Dallas fame). The same material is handled much better in "The Dummy" (8:00 PM 12/31).
9:00 AM – The Last Flight – During a hopeless dogfight, a World War I pilot abandons his best friend by flying into a cloud–and 42 years into the future, landing at a modern airfield. A touching, beautifully acted tale of cowardice, duty, and heroism at the last minute. A rarely-aired gem. And check out the vintage 1918 biplane!
9:30 AM – The Little People – Ego and physical relativity clash in this memorable (though mediocre) episode, which has been lampooned in The Simpsons, South Park, and Futurama. Good performance by Claude Akins.
10:00 AM – Third From The Sun – Trigger-happy world leaders have their finger on the button! Doomsday is near! Time for a select few to secretly gather their families to escape to a nearby planet. Hm... now what planet would that be..?
10:30 AM – Long Live Walter Jameson – TZ's most successful working of the "morality of mortality" theme features fine performances, a strong script and a touch of righteous revenge.
11:00 AM – A Piano In The House – Enchanted ivories reveal uncomfortable secrets; akin to "What's in the Box" (4:00 PM 12/31) and "A Most Unusual Camera" (12:00 PM 12/31), and slightly better than either. But only slightly.
11:30 AM – Perchance To Dream – Neat psychodrama with some freaky felinesque dream sequences. Not bad; not great.
12:00 PM – A Most Unusual Camera – Lame-assed episode about three greedy morons undone by a magic camera. Hokey, ridiculous, predictable ending. Skip it.
12:30 PM – The Arrival – Mystery plane lands itself at airport. The flight inspector "with a perfect record of solving cases" brings in a team to investigate. Everyone sees different registration numbers, seat cushion colors, then all but the investigator disappear. Could it all just be the investigator's guilty conscience hallucinating? Ummm... maybe... Sigh.
1:00 PM – A Thing About Machines – One of my all-time faves about a guy who beats up on his machines – which, in 1960, included his typewriter, electric razor, TV and car – and they gang up to have their revenge. The dawn of Skynet... ("Now, why don’t you get out of here, Finchley!!")
1:30 PM– And When The Sky Was Opened – Well played, creepy episode about astronauts returning to earth… or did they? Or were they ever here? Or were you?? TZ makes us question our grasp of reality.
2:00 PM – I Shot An Arrow Into The Air – Three astronauts survive a crash on an asteroid (where the atmosphere and gravity are the same as on Earth, but no one notices this). Limited provisions stir bloodthirsty behavior. Yes, Rod, people in crisis are just no darned good.
2:30 PM – Nick Of Time – A charming script and low-key performance by pre-Kirk William Shatner (yes, I used "low-key" and "Shatner" in the same sentence) grace this cautionary tale about superstition and self-determination.
3:00 PM – Night Of The Meek – Down-and-out department store Santa, Art Carney, loses his job but finds a bag of gifts and plays Santa one last time for the neighborhood kiddies. But is it just an act? Beautiful, touching episode.
3:30 PM – Number Twelve Looks Just Like You – Dystopic utopia where everyone is beautifully identical and lifts their pretty mugs with a glass of Instant Smile. (Perhaps an inspiration for Scott Westerfeld's excellent Uglies series -- where a "beautiful world" has a particularly nasty underpinning?) Mediocre script saved by Collin Wilcox's terrific performance.
4:00 PM – What's In The Box – Lame and ridiculous episode about a couple’s bickering leading to accidental murder and capital punishment. Freaky TV predicts it all. There, now you don’t have to watch it and aren’t you glad?
4:00 PM – What's In The Box – Lame and ridiculous episode about a couple’s bickering leading to accidental murder and capital punishment. Freaky TV predicts it all. There, now you don’t have to watch it and aren’t you glad?
4:30 PM – Walking Distance – I LOVE this episode, a classic (#2 on the Time list) about a frustrated exec who, longing for his boyhood days, visits his hometown – only to find himself a grown-up amidst his own childhood. Insightful lesson about valuing the present and not romanticizing the past.
5:00 PM – A Hundred Yards Over The Rim – Underrated episode featuring a very young Cliff Robertson as a pioneer dad who will go yards, miles and years to heal his ailing son.
5:30 PM – People Are Alike All Over – Astronaut Roddy McDowall crashes on populous Mars, and consoles his fears with the thought that Martians (who include the radiant Susan Oliver) and humans must be "alike" ...
6:00 PM – Probe 7 Over and Out – Stranded astronaut Richard Basehart, meets hostile alien female on deserted planet. She hurls rocks at him. Or maybe it's just foreplay. Now, what shall we call this place...? (Appropriately rhymes with "dearth.") The same story is better told in "Two" (4:30 AM 1/1).
6:30 PM – Stopover In A Quiet Town – At least it was quiet until this nattering couple woke up in a strange house with no memory of how they got there, and no one to ask where they are, or why the grass is made of papier-mâché. And if they'd shut up for two seconds, we just might care....
7:00 PM – A Game Of Pool – This taut two-person drama explores winning and losing, and what's really important in the game of life. Fine performances by Jack Klugman (who passed in 2012) and Jonathan Winters (who passed this last spring). Not crazy about the end, though; the real (and better) ending was done in the 80s TZ version.
7:30 PM – The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street – #4 on the Time list. The story is included in grade-school anthologies. Beautifully written masterpiece about fearing thy neighbor. The brilliant Claude Akins is considered the lead, though it is a true ensemble piece. Don’t miss it.
8:00 PM – The Dummy – Cliff Robertson as a troubled ventriloquist whose creepy dummy will simply not stay in the box.
8:30 PM – The Invaders – Agnes Moorehead's virtuoso 25-minute wordless monologue; riveting with a slick twist at the end. #7 on the Time list.
9:00 PM – To Serve Man – Aliens come to earth offering solutions to all the world's woes; their trouble-entendre mission: "To serve man." An undisputed classic, #8 on the Time list.
9:30 PM – Nightmare At 20,000 Feet – "There's a man out on the wing!!" Shatner at his whiteknuckle best. #6 on the Time list.
10:00 PM – A Stop At Willoughby – Beleaguered exec finds himself in his childhood hometown. Similar to "Walking Distance" (4:30 PM 12/31) but trades insight for sentiment. Some people really like this one; I can do without it.
10:30 PM – The Hitch-hiker – A driver keeps seeing the same hitch-hiker thumbing a ride as she heads west…. A deliciously Hitchcockian morality/mortality play about fear and acceptance of the inevitable. #5 on the Time list.
11:00 PM – Dead Man's Shoes – Bum dons dead gangster's wing-tips and finds himself stepping into the thug's revenge-thirsty ex-life. You might feel bad for the bum if you find yourself caring about anything in this one.
11:30 PM – Will The Real Martian Please Stand Up – This was voted 8.5 on the IMDB, but I think it’s dopey and ridiculous. Bus passengers are stranded at a diner – but there is one too many. Oh, and rumor has it that a spacecraft crashed nearby. Give me a break.
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