Unfortunately, I arrived close to 8pm and the Dockmaster told me the wind had died down shortly before, so the boats were starting to head in -- at about a half-knot, so it could take an hour to reach the dock.
So, no sailing for me.
But the weather was nice, otherwise, and the sunset was luminous and pink. So I hung out chatting with another member.
We small-talked for a bit, and then I decided to ask about a member whom I'll call Nick Nevins, who had been on my mind a lot.
I'd met Nick a month or two before and we'd emailed over subsequent weeks.
And then Nick suffered a terrible personal tragedy.
There were email announcements and heartfelt words of sympathy on the club's message board. We took up a collection and sent love and good thoughts.
While I'd joined in the collection, I was nervous about emailing Nick as, after all, I didn't know him that well. But I had experienced a tragedy similar to what he'd gone through and hoped I could offer insight or encouragement that could be useful to him.
But mostly I was concerned about him. He hadn't posted to the board or sent any word to the club other than his gratitude for the support.
So, after a beat in the conversation, I asked my new friend, "Have you heard anything about Nick Nevins? Is he ok?"
And he said, "Uh... I AM Nick Nevins..."
The next thing I knew, he was giving ME sympathy for making such a fool of myself!
I told him how I'd been thinking about him but was unsure about reaching out. And he said it was strange that I'd come to the lake that very day since he had been away since the day of the Event.
And I had not been to the lake myself in all that time either...
Synchronicity.
Fast-forward to the train ride home and I start listening to a new podcast of one of my favorite shows, RadioLab.
The topic? FACE BLINDNESS! Yes, really!!
The blurb describes how the famous neuroscientist Oliver Sachs, and PORTRAIT ARTIST Chuck Close, were both born with a condition called face blindness.
"You can sit down with either man, talk to him for an hour, and if he sees you again just fifteen minutes later, he will have no idea who you are. (Unless you have a very squeaky voice or happen to be wearing the same odd purple hat.)"
Now, while my experiences are not quite as extreme as Sachs' -- who recalls stroking his beard in a diner mirror, only to realize his reflection was not! It was, in fact, a bewildered bearded gentleman wondering why Sachs was making faces at him -- for most of my life I have been unable to remember new faces.
Like Sachs and Close, I've come up with techniques to help myself recall details of a face which I try to connect to a name -- though I suck at remembering names, too -- (e.g. Mary has the mole, Joe has the big schnoz), but my circuits overload quickly, the system crashes and I end up remembering useless fragments of faces and names.
I have a few kind friends who help me negotiate parties; throughout the evening, I'll run up to them asking, "Who did I just talk to? Was that the person who poured my drink when we arrived?" And they patiently answer and calm me down without making me feel like an idiot or a lunatic.
It usually takes several focused meetings for me to be able to recall, reassemble and/or recognize a face. But once a face is in, it's there for good.
Thinking about it now, I can't quite say what it is that I recognize when a face finally sinks in. Sometimes I think it has more to do with mannerisms than physiognomy -- though I'm good at recognizing actors in very different roles.
But I NEVER recognize celebrities on the street.
For some reason, they read differently when they are not performing.
I'm also good at remembering voices and I have excellent episodic memory. So if I've met you once and you told me your life story, I can guarantee I won't recognize you the next time I see you (even if it's the next day). BUT, once you start talking, I will remember every detail of your story, as well as where and how you stood or sat during the tale.
Go figure.
It's a frustrating way to live -- especially since people often remember ME, and I feel like a schmuck for not being able to return the favor -- but it's nice to know that there are many others who go through this as well.
Perhaps that is why Nick was so understanding...
Strange -- thinking about him even now, I can't quite recall what his face looks like, but I have a few details.
Mostly, though, I recall how he carried himself, where there was tension in his body, and the way that he walked. So that should be enough to recognize him next time. As long as he is not sitting down.....
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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